What Would a Wild Mouse Do

In the event of capture or other close contact with the species homo sapiens, never signal for help from other members of your clan, or give any other sign of your intelligence. Act stupid! You may squeak, run around in circles, and crash into the walls of your prison if indeed your captors have placed you in some type of enclosure.

If all else fails you may threaten to bite, baring the teeth and approaching whatever exposed human flesh is available to you.

An actual bite is not recommended, however, for two reasons. First, the taste of human is overrated, and some find it frankly unpleasant. Second, humans are mortally afraid of certain diseases that they believe to be carried by rodents. If they report a bite to the authorities it may result in an all-out attempt to eliminate your entire clan with traps or poison, or even the use of a cat.

Here is an artist’s impression of WWAWMD in action, as Mouse 48 of Cleveland Clan 1578 demonstrates his ‘stupidity’ after capture by a human.